INVISIBLE MOM

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I know it is hard to be a mom.  It is really, really hard!  It may seem like nothing we do really matters or is even recognized.  It may also seem as though there are more important things that we could be doing that would make a difference in the world, but in the end, nothing compares to what we are building within the walls of our home.  The next time you feel invisible, read the following story and remember just how important you are.  I hope you love this story from Nicole Johnson that she shares in her book,  “The Invisible Woman: When Only God Sees.”

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible.

THE INVISIBLE MOM

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’ I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book and I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it.

And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, ‘You’re going to love it there.’

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM

Where Have All The Flowers Gone, Long Time Passing…

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There was a time when everyone did his part. Few doubted the validity of service back in the early years.

Boomer Junction

January 27, 1973 marked a significant day in history for Baby Boomers.  On this day, the Paris Peace Accords were signed, thus formally ending United States involvement in the Vietnam War. It would be two more months before the last U.S. troops are withdrawn, and two more years before the fall of Saigon.   But, January 27th was a pivotal day in our history, and one I like to observe. Alone. With my memories.

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Each of us has our stories from those days.  We all know where we were, and what we were doing regarding the war. I do not know anyone from our generation who was untouched or unaffected by it, in some manner, during those years. Some served; some who stayed behind were more outspoken than others, protesting and demonstrating whenever and wherever the opportunity arose, determined their collective voice would be heard; some prayed day and night…

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THOUGHTS FOR PARENTS

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The following ideas are taken from an article entitled:

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRICT AND HARSH PARENTING

Is forbidding a grammar school child from “dating,” or prohibiting a girl of 9, 10, or 11 from putting on a full face of makeup austere parenting? I believe not. Austere parenting has a bad reputation in our culture and is often misunderstood. Strict house rules (by that I mean limit-setting) are often accompanied by harsh parental demeanor, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  It is not house rules—which may be stricter than those of other families—that drive children toward rebellion; it is the attitude in which those rules are applied in the home.

The idea of harsh parenting should not be linked with strict house rules but with acts of verbal or physical aggression, such as yelling, name-calling, shoving, or threatening the child.  These acts move children to become more peer-oriented, transferring their affections and source of identity from their parents to their friends.

Harsh parenting may make the parents look like the enemy, pushing children to view their peers as those who care about them. Once the parents are seen as the enemy in the eyes of the child, the child has no qualms about disregarding parental authority and disobeying house or school rules. All this makes sense and fits the notions, experience and/or stereotypes many of us already have regarding the children of harsh parenting. The valuable distinction to make here, and one I hope is not lost, is that distinction between “austere” or “strict,” vs. “harsh.”

In our American culture, where liberty is often merged with licentiousness, strictness is too often fused with harshness.  Parents and their methods are either “harsh” or not harsh, and in the end, all we can do is formulate our own vague prescription: “don’t be harsh.” Yet this does not mean becoming lax–allowing an increase in risky behavior in already troubled children.

I was a child of harsh and strict parenting, and, as a mother, I struggled not to deal with my children the same way. Most children who rebel against harsh parents are not necessarily rebelling against the strict rules. The cure for harsh parenting, therefore, isn’t permissiveness, which is what I discovered as I matured and eventually became a mother. Children who rebel, rebel against unkindness.

At the heart of good parenting are characteristics like love, respect, and tenderness. The rules of the home are not what make or break childrearing; more so, it is the spirit in which parents implement those rules that makes the difference. The antidote to harsh parenting is not permissiveness but love.

THOUGHTS FOR PARENTS

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth (Eph. 6:1-3).

Most parents consider this to be a scripture solely for children, but it does have its flip side. Yes, God has ordained that children must obey their parents, but what does this indicate about parents? It shows us that GOD is the one who has ordained that parents are in authority over their children. What are the implications of this arrangement?

By God’s wisdom, you (including your authority) are necessary and good for your children. If your children had no authority over them, how would that affect them? Loving parents want what is best for their children, and do their best to give them commands that are for their spiritual and physical benefit. God showed that this is His reasoning in giving commands to His children.

  • Deu. 10:13—To keep the commandments of the LORD, and his statutes, which I command thee this day for thy good?

We must understand the Lord has given us the “right” to command our children as their authority, but at the same time, this is also a responsibility, a stewardship. Our children do not belong to us. They may be little children for a few years, but they, just as we are, are living souls. Scripture shows us that every soul ultimately belongs to God.

  • Ezek. 18:4—Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die.

God cares for every soul. To God, we are no more “important” than those we have rule over, whether children or servants.

  • Job 31:13-15—If I did despise the cause of my manservant or of my maidservant, when they contended with me; 14 What then shall I do when God riseth up? and when he visiteth, what shall I answer him? 15 Did not he that made me in the womb make him? and did not one fashion us in the womb?

As parents, we are nothing more than stewards over our children for a few years, and will have to give an answer for the way we conduct this responsibility. Our dealings with them MUST be based on what is good for our children, not based on our own pleasure.

  • Luke 12:42-46—And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season? 43 Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing. 44 Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath. 45 But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken; 46 The lord of that servant will come in a day when he looketh not for him, and at an hour when he is not aware, and will cut him in sunder, and will appoint him his portion with the unbelievers.

We don’t have a choice; as long as we are parents, we ARE made to be in authority over our children. How will we exercise this authority? We will have to give an account for our stewardship.

  • Heb. 13:17—Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

For our child’s good, we must communicate and teach this authority arrangement to each of our children (best done first during a calm, loving, teachable moment, not in the middle of a conflict.)

They must have the understanding that our authority is not based on the fact that we’re taller or meaner or stronger than the child. It is because God, our Creator and Owner, has given us these roles, and responsibilities.

When a child obeys his mother or father, he is ultimately obeying God. If he disobeys his parents, he is disobeying God. That is scary.

When I, the mother, instruct, train and punish my child, I am obeying God just as the child is obeying God. I do not have a choice about whether to spank my child when he disobeys. I must obey God, out of both fear and love for Him and love for my child. It is utterly essential that this principle be taught to our children at a very young age.

When a child is taught the idea of authority, he then is equipped to cooperate. Until he is taught, it must seem entirely arbitrary that we think we have the right to “hit” (spank) him, but he doesn’t have the right to hit us. Would it be any wonder a child would only respond in anger and rebellion to being spanked? That makes no sense until the foundation of God’s teaching on authority is laid.

  • 1 Sam. 8:4-7—Then all the elders of Israel gathered themselves together, and came to Samuel unto Ramah, 5 And said unto him, Behold, thou art old, and thy sons walk not in thy ways: now make us a king to judge us like all the nations. 6 But the thing displeased Samuel, when they said, Give us a king to judge us. And Samuel prayed unto the LORD. 7 And the LORD said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them.
  • Eph. 6:1-7—Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; 6 Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; 7 With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:
  • Num. 16:28—And Moses said, Hereby ye shall know that the LORD hath sent me to do all these works; for I have not done them of mine own mind.

The first order of business, in bringing up a child in the way he should go, is teaching him what God’s will is. How can a child know what to do without being taught first? What does God say about teaching our children?

  • Deut. 6:4-9—Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: 5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
  • Eph. 6:4—And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
  • Col. 3:20-21—Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
  • Pro. 23:13-14—Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
  • Pro. 19:18—Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
  • 2 Tim. 3:15—And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.
  • 2 Tim. 1:5—When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.

The authority has to follow a pattern the child can count on (consistency). If the rules are only enforced sometimes, or even too slowly, the child is always going to test, “Let’s see if I get away with it this time.” This is simply human nature. Think policemen – if tickets are arbitrary or inconsistent in an area, everybody speeds there. If a particular area has the reputation for speed limits being strictly enforced, folks obey the law!

  • Ecc. 8:11—Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.
  • Rom. 12:6-8—Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy,let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; 7 Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; 8 Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.

This requires diligence and faithfulness on the part of the authority. In order to be effective, authority should be feared to a certain extent, until obedience out of love overcomes that fear. Then fear is no longer necessary.

Should we feel apologetic for enforcing the rules?

Does a policeman apologize for handing out a ticket?

Does a policeman have to shout and get mad when he hands out a ticket?

Should a parent need to get mad to discipline a child? Which is more effective, anger or consistencies in enforcement with clear instructions about the rules?

If the police only enforce the rules part-time, what does that do? If a parent only enforces the rules some of the time, what would that do?

  • Eph. 6:1-12—Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 5 Servants, be obedient to them that areyour masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; 6 Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; 7 With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: 8 Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. 9 And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him. 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Notice some things about these verses:

Our children are commanded to honor us. Can we affect how easy or difficult it is for them to obey this command of God?

  • Pro. 15:1—A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
  • 2 Tim. 2:24-25—And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
  • Gal. 5:22-23—But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
  • Gal. 7:9—Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
  • James 3:16-17—For where envying (zelos – heat) and strifeis, there is confusion and every evil work. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
  • Heb. 12:5-11—And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
  • Jer. 30:11—For I am with thee, saith the LORD, to save thee: though I make a full end of all nations whither I have scattered thee, yet will I not make a full end of thee: but I will correct thee in measure, and will not leave thee altogether unpunished.
  • 2 Sam. 7:14-15—I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men: 15 But my mercy shall not depart away from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away before thee.
  • Luke 12:47-48—And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
  • John 19:11—Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin.

Rebellion is the main thing we must punish—always, every time, without fail, and it deserves the greatest punishment.

  • Zech. 7:12-13—Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone, lest they should hear the law, and the words which the Lord of hosts hath sent in his spirit by the former prophets: therefore came a great wrath from the Lord of hosts. 13 Therefore it is come to pass, that as he cried, and they would not hear; so they cried, and I would not hear, saith the Lord of hosts:

Being a kid (doing dumb, careless or impetuous things without thinking, like stepping in dog stinky or spilling a glass of milk) does not need corporal punishment; it needs verbal correction. Children are not born with intuition or adult inhibitions. We need to instruct them in those things—lovingly.

Is it best for a parent to correct a child in anger?

  • As ye would therefore that men should do unto you, do ye also even so unto them (Matt. 7:12; Luke 6:31).

Correct with measure; be certain the punishment fits the crime. Correct consistently, lovingly, gently, firmly, with measure, without resorting to threatening! Carefully choose your battles for your child’s good and your own ability to enforce your rules. Too many rules will be too hard to enforce and most certainly frustrating to the child. Do not provoke your child to wrath lest they be discouraged. If your discipline takes the spirit out of your child so they don’t care anymore, have you succeeded or failed in your aim?

  • Jer. 10:24-25—O LORD, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing. 25 Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name: for they have eaten up Jacob, and devoured him, and consumed him, and have made his habitation desolate.

Angry parents do not generate respect; they generate anger and rebellion in their children. A raised voice is only effective for a limited time. If a child always hears shouting, he becomes impervious to it, and it is no longer effective. Also, if children only hear shouting, they lose the desire to please.

Should every misdemeanor receive the same punishment? No.  Intentional wrong or deliberate disobedience should receive the strongest punishment. Accidental or ignorant wrong (even if the child “should have known better,” should receive lesser punishment.

  • Luke 12:47-48—And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. 48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
  • John 19:10-11—Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee? 11 Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no powerat all against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin.
  • Matt 23:14—Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows’ houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.

Hard punishment may be administered for mistreatment of others, or correction for ignoring someone else’s need: Why? Our aim in training is to instill the fear of the Lord in our child, and teach him God’s judgments. His training is not for our convenience or for this world! It is to teach spiritual concepts. Hard punishment should be reserved for things like lying or stealing, once clear instruction is given.

  • Pro. 19:17—He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.
  • Pro. 22:22-23—Rob not the poor, because he is poor: neither oppress the afflicted in the gate: 23 For the LORD will plead their cause, and spoil the soul of those that spoiled them.
  • Pro. 28:27—He that giveth unto the poor shall not lack: but he that hideth his eyes shall have many a curse.
  • Pro. 29:7—The righteous considereth the cause of the poor:but the wicked regardeth not to know it.
  • Pro. 21:13—Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard.
  • Isa. 10:1-3—Woe unto them that decree unrighteous decrees, and that write grievousness which they have prescribed; 2 To turn aside the needy from judgment, and to take away the right from the poor of my people, that widows may be their prey, and that they may rob the fatherless! 3 And what will ye do in the day of visitation, and in the desolation which shall come from far? to whom will ye flee for help? and where will ye leave your glory?

What is the AIM of discipline?

Short term, discipline is meant to teach humility and obedience to authority, and is good for a child’s life (1 Tim. 3:4-5; Rom. 13:1-2; Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20: 1 Cor. 11:3; 2 Cor. 10:8).

  • Isa. 10:20—And it shall come to pass in that day, that the remnant of Israel, and such as are escaped of the house of Jacob, shall no more again stay upon him that smote them; but shall stay upon the Lord, the Holy One of Israel, in truth.
  • Ahab humbled himself (to an extent) and returned, and the Lord rewarded him even for partial obedience (1 Kings 21:27-29), to encourage him to do more! We want to give our children courage to try to please us by appreciating whatever we can about them and their (occasionally pitiful) efforts.
  • The nation of Israel obeyed God feignedly, and even though He knew it, he rewarded those surface efforts (Jer. 3:10).
  • The opposite of humility is a stiff neck and proud heart (Zech. 7:11-12; Jer. 7:25-28; Jer. 17:23; Deut. 31:27; Psa. 101:5).
  • Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft (1 Sam. 15:23) – but do we elicit rebellion by harshness or unreasonableness?

Long term, discipline is for the salvation of our child’s soul.

Threatening:

  • Eph. 6:9—And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him.

G547 ἀπειλή apeilē ap-i-lay’ From G546; a menace, To make a show of intention to harm – faces, body posture, etc.

Does shouting, screaming, slapping, glaring or threatening show good will or love?

Pay attention to your child; know what is going on, and what he needs; however, I am not talking about being hovering helicopter parents. Let him do age-appropriate things for himself even if he makes mistakes.

  • Heb. 10:24—And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
  • Pro. 27:23-27—Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks,and look well to thy herds. 24 For riches are not for ever: and doth the crown endure to every generation? 25 The hay appeareth, and the tender grass sheweth itself, and herbs of the mountains are gathered. 26 The lambs are for thy clothing, and the goats are the price of the field. 27 And thou shalt have goats’ milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens.
  • Pro. 29:15—The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child leftto himself bringeth his mother to shame.

The REWARDS:

  • Pro. 29:17—Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Pay attention to your child – to know what is going on, and what he/she needs.

  • Heb. 10:24—And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
  • Pro. 27:23-27—Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds. 24 For riches are not for ever: and doth the crown endure to every generation? 25 The hay appeareth, and the tender grass sheweth itself, and herbs of the mountains are gathered. 26 The lambs are for thy clothing, and the goats are the price of the field. 27 And thou shalt have goats’ milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens.
  • Pro. 29:15—The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
  • Pro. 29:17—Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

 

Bitterness may grow in the hearts of children who are disciplined harshly.

Are we mothers being prudent in our dealings with our children?

Will our children be unmoored because of their rebellion against harsh parenting?

What will be our children’s heritage?

WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHILDREN GONE?

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“Where Have All the Flowers Gone” is a modern folk-style song done by Peter, Paul and Mary. Pete Seeger wrote the melody and the first three verses in 1955, while Joe Hickerson added additional verses and turned it into a circular song in May 1960. Its rhetorical “where?” and its meditation on death place the song in the ubi sunt tradition.

Ubi sunt (literally “where are… [They]”) is a phrase taken from the Latin Ubi sunt qui ante nos fuerunt?, meaning, “Where are those who were before us?” Ubi nunc…? (“Where now?”) is a common variant.

Memento mori is also a Latin phrase for “remember that you have to die.” The phrase embodied the theory and practice of reflection on mortality, and was especially considered to be a means of pondering the vanity of earthly life and the transient nature of all earthly goods and pursuits. The philosophy was a means of perfecting the character by turning the attention towards the immortality of the soul and the afterlife.

Based on these thoughts, one should ask the question: Where have all our children gone? Reading the news today is such a depressing exercise. Day after day accounts of missing, exploited or murdered teens fill the pages of our media. Yet it seems parents can do nothing to stop the trend—not even microchip them for locating their dead bodies.

Early in our marriage, my husband and I determined never to allow our sons or daughters to sleep away from home as they were growing up. The whole world was starting to turn to wickedness in so many areas. A recent news article, “The Exploitation of America’s Children,” proves that our concerns were not unfounded. Even the formerly respected National Geographic magazine has joined the ranks of those who would steal kids’ bodies and souls.

I’m not surprised at what is happening to our nation’s young people, or at the evil permeating high places. Because of pedophilia, lots of money exchanges hands. Back in the 1980’s the NAMBLA said they were coming after America’s children, and they have continued their agenda with fervor.

I had not heard of this group until recently, but by reading the above article I can feel the militancy of their sinister plan. About the same time period a Harvard Professor reportedly said, “Children can and do give consent; therefore, the adults who seduce them should not be punished.”

Sickening deluded souls! There is the ever-present conspiracy of silence in so many areas now. While the world seems to be looking the other way, pretending not to notice, the evil forces lure our children toward hell.

Who would doubt that some online games are also part of the takeover of our children? W.H.O. SEEKS TO CLASSIFY GAMING DISORDER AS MENTAL ILLNESS. And if no other evil outcome surfaced because of unlimited games, what character traits are being instilled in the compulsive gamers? Children count on “unconditional love” making it impossible for parents to tell them no as new games go on sale. Where does this entitlement come from except the very Internet they have been allowed to use free of charge every day?

Who would ever imagine that online gambling would be aimed at children? There is even a NYC School Program for addicted student gamblers. One Psychiatrist Journal claims there is an epidemic of child and teen gambling. Video Game Addiction and Other Internet Compulsive Disorders Mask Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disabilities.

Why do youngsters today have so much interest in their peers and so little interest in family life, domestic duties or church? Many parents offer electronic devices as constant entertainment for their children. This inadvertently lends itself to danger from online predators, pornography and cyber bullying. Is it any wonder so many young people are committing suicide in this generation?

Dr. Jim Taylor of Huffington Post points out, “Because children lack experience and perspective, they tend to make decisions that are rash, egocentric and short-sighted. This absence of forethought can cause children to overlook the consequences of their decisions and to ignore their long-term ramifications.”

Kristen Gerencher of Jewish Word Review, talked about brain growth associated with maturity and decision-making being behind the physical body growth during adolescence. The conclusion we may draw from this is that the judgment of younger people is not as advanced as their physical maturity—a fact that agrees with the Lord’s declaration that children under twenty-one are not able to make the best decisions. Ms Gerencher may be right about the change in physical aspects of the brain, which could make it hard to control. At the same time, she may not be right about the ‘control factor,’ and that conclusion could direct us away from what is truly and really happening in every public schoolroom every hour of every day—intentional destruction of Christian-Judo values.

In Scripture, we read that anyone under twenty-one was not responsible for rejecting the Lord’s command to go into Canaan and thus were not cursed (Num. 14:28-29). A lesson on that might just take some of the starch out of some folk’s absolute self-confidence (if they believe the Creator’s words), and who should know better than the one who created us all?

Where have all the children gone? Many children have been sacrificed to the parents’ god of success. Others have been sacrificed to worldliness or just plain old permissiveness. Even some conservative home school parents have fallen into the secular mold of educating in worldly pursuits, enjoyment and benefits. Do they even notice when the moralizing marketers aim to teach humanistic values to their children?

Where is the innocence that should be in our children? Sure, we have protected them from work by our labor laws, but do we send them to socialist schools for eight to ten hours every day and require they join some sport or extracurricular activity to finish out more than a forty-hour work-week?

In many cases, where both parents work outside the home, by the time babies are six weeks old, working mothers are forced to leave them with less than qualified babysitters, nannies or at a daycare.

Liberal atheistic teachers browbeat kids into thinking there is nothing wrong with sexual promiscuity or alternate lifestyles. By the time they get to high school, long before they are mature enough to care about reputation, morals or disease, they look forward to drowning themselves in pleasure during the spring break at the beach.

Is it any wonder college and university campuses must constantly deal with the rape epidemic? If liquor is accepted as the norm, how could there be any other outcome? Will there be, can there be, Christian mates somewhere for our children?

Where have all the children gone? Long time passing
Where have all the children gone? Long time ago
Where have all the children gone? Gone for Baal every one
Oh when will they ever learn?
Oh when will they ever learn?

Ecclesiastes 8:5-6—Whoso keepeth the commandment shall feel no evil thing: and a wise man’s heart discerneth both time and judgment. 6 Because to every purpose there is time and judgment, therefore the misery of man is great upon him.

Ecclesiastes 11:9—Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment.

Is life unraveled for you?  May our prayer ever be, Father, Help us Raise our Children.

 

NAMES ON THE WALL

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A little history most people, even Americans, will never know…

Interesting Veterans Statistics off the Vietnam Memorial Wall

There are 58,267 names now listed on that polished black wall, including those added in 2010.

The names are arranged in the order in which they were taken from us by date and within each date the names are alphabetized. It is hard to believe it has been 61 years since the first casualty. Continue reading →

LOVING OUR PARENTS

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Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another (1 John 4:7-11).

God commands us to love one another. In verse 8, He tells us that if we don’t love each other, we don’t know God, because God is love.

We all know how the world tends to define love; the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you’re with a friend you like, or the affection you feel towards your siblings, family, and friends.

But what is real love? How does our Creator define it?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8–Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

So here we can see that real love isn’t just some mysterious, undefined feeling like the world thinks it is. Real love is an action, something that we do. In fact, God says that in 1 John 3:16-18.

We all know that as Christians, we have God as our heavenly Father. How does He say we are to love him?

1 John 2:3-5 (Remember that, in chapter 4, He says that we know God if we love Him. Knowing God is rather essential to our salvation, don’t you think? **Author note: Find the scripture about needing to know God**)

  1. John 15:10—If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.
  2. If ye love me, keep my commandments (John 14:15).
  3. 1 John 5:2-3 specifically says that the love of God is to keep His commandments.

We also learn that if we are to love other Christians, we must keep God’s commandments.  So how are we to love our earthly parents?  One way is by obedience.

  1. Ephesians 6:1-3—Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
  2. Colossians 3:20—Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

When God repeats Himself, He’s usually trying to make a point.

  1. In Romans 1:30, He lists disobedience to parents as one of the sinful qualities of those who didn’t like to retain God in their knowledge.
  2. In Proverbs 1:8-9, He says that the law and instruction of our parents will be like ornaments of gold to us if we listen.

Are there any exceptions to Col 3:20 where God says that we are to obey our parents in all things? What about Jacob and Rebecca (Gen. 27:6-25)?

Jacob was obedient to his mother by lying to his father Isaac.  Should we obey our parents if they tell us to do something sinful? What does God say (Matt 10:37)?

What reward do we get for obeying God’s laws above all others (Matt 19:29)?

What does God say about lying? If we are truthful to our parents, does it show that we love them and our Heavenly Father too?

  1. Matt 26:28
  2. Matt 13:5
  3. Matt 6:16-19

What is an abomination? How about roaches in your milk and fly guts on your bread toast? How does God feel about lying then (Pro. 12:22)?

How else can we love our parents? What about by being wise?

  1. Pro. 15:20
  2. Pro. 23:15-16
  3. Pro. 23:24-25
  4. Pro. 17:25
  5. Pro. 19:13a
  6. Pro. 17:2
  7. Pro. 19:26

So how can we be wise?

  1. Pro. 1:7
  2. Pro. 9:10
  3. Pro. 10:19

We can also love our parents by giving them honor. What is honor?  The Greek word is tama’o, means “To value or honor.”  It has a strong connotation of support or taking care of needs.

  1. Eph 6:2-3
  2. Matt 15:4
  3. Matt 19:16-19

Mark 7:10 (God thought that cursing your parents was worthy of death)

God thought that honor was very important, so much so, that He included it in the Ten Commandments (Ex 20:12).

So how do we value/honor our parents? What about by taking care of them when they are old?

  • 1 Tim 5:3-4, 8
  • Matt 15:1-9
  • The Pharisees were condemned for not taking care of their parents and giving the money to the temple instead. Is it right to do good works? Yes. What about if we do them instead of something else God has commanded us?
  • How do all of these things fit with God’s definition of love in 1 Cor. 13:4-8?

What are some examples we have of people who didn’t love their parents? What were the consequences of their not loving their parents?

  1. Absalom – 1Sam 15:23 (What God thinks of rebellion)
  2. What happened as a result of his rebellion?
  3. Joseph’s brothers – 1 Gen 37:18-35
  4. What did we learn about lying in Pro 26:28?
  5. Eli’s sons – 1 Sam 2:22-25

How should we respond to chastening and rebuke?

  1. Proverbs 15:5—A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.
  2. Proverbs 13:1—A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner hea
    reth not rebuke.
  3. Proverbs 13:24—He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
  4. Proverbs 3:11-12—My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:
  5. 12 For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

So what are some examples of people who did love their parents?

  1. Esther obeyed Mordecai in Esther 2:11, 20,
  2. In 1 Sam 3:2-18 Samuel cared for Eli when he could not see. He also obeyed Eli when Eli told him how to answer God.  He was truthful when Eli asked him what God had said.
  3. Ruth cared for Naomi when Naomi became a widow. Ruth 1:8-7; 2:2, 17-18
  4. Joseph obeyed his father when Jacob sent him to find his brothers ( 37:13-17). He also honored his father by taking care of him when he ruled Egypt (Gen. 45:9-13; 47:11-12).
  5. David obeyed Jesse when he sent him to take food to his brothers (1 Sam. 17:12-22).

Christ was subject to his parents when he was a child (Luke 2:40-51). He also honored his mother by making sure she was provided for before she died (John 19:25-27). (See Galatians 1:19 and 2:9 also consider the brother of Jesus