In an article by Mark Peters, from Behind the Dictionary, October 29, 2013, we learn that our dictionaries now have another new word. It is called “mansplaining.” Mansplaining is defined as a fella explaining something, unnecessarily and often incorrectly, with oodles of condescension. This attitude is as old as the hills. The word itself has been around since about 2009, but it’s blossomed since, providing a potent weapon in worldly women’s arsenal against overbearing dudes.
Who has not been the victim of such ignorant condescension? Does this attitude only come from the male gender? Even if males were the only one to behave this way, would that change a woman’s position in the home or in the church?
God’s direction about women’s subjection is not about the value or intelligence of the genders; it is simply about function. The chain of command in 1 Corinthians 11:3 reads, But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God, gives nothing that even indicates man is more valuable than woman.”
How should one answer the sisters who like to complain about the faults of their men folk? First, ask, “Are all men like that?” Even if they were, would that give ladies a right to disobey the command for women to honor their men as head? Admittedly, some men have faults and can be difficult to get along with, but do all women behave perfectly every time? Does poor behavior on the man’s part change the woman’s position in any way? What can she do? What should she do? How can she overcome her temptation to sin when she is faced with such a situation?
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Gal. 6:9).
What traits in husbands tend to make wives grow weary in a marriage, and how can these things be overcome by hope? Marriage isn’t easy. Husbands aren’t flawless, and neither are wives. A wife can’t “fix” (correct) a husband, but she can sure work on herself. No matter what the earthly “result” of a marriage might be, wives can have great hope for reaping eternal good, if they follow God’s commands for the marriage. Her relationship to her husband can give her experience to be: faithful, obedient, temperate, selfless, etc. Look at some things that tend to make wives grow weary in their marriages—especially when relationships are not easy. Sometimes the only comfort a wife may find in these passages is the comfort of knowing she is doing the right thing even if he is not.
Is your husband not loving you (his wife) as his own body?
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church (Eph. 5:28-29).
Does your husband not forgive your mistakes?
So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses (Matt. 18:35).
Does your husband carry a grudge?
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath (Eph. 4:26).
Does your husband take vengeance or get even for wrongs he believes you have done?
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:19-21).
Is your husband using threats and hatred to control?
Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock (1 Pet. 5:3).
What if your husband is being an untoward (wicked) master?
And, ye masters, do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with him (Eph. 6:9).
4 thoughts on “BE NOT WEARY: Dealing with Temptations In Marriage Relationships”
I do see women who might have a “right” to complain about their husbands, but aren’t. That is actually a great encouragement to me and a reminder to honor my own husband when he is occasionally less than flawless. My heart does go out to these women, and I’m reminded of the scripture, 2 Corinthians 12:10 “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
These strong women are a glory to God. They themselves may not see that, and may feel inadequate when they are hindered from doing as much good for others as they would like because of their hard situation. But Lk 12:48 says, For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more. The Father knows our situations, and was more pleased with the widow’s mite than with all the riches of the Pharisees. Mk 12:42-44
The older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children. Tit2:4 How good it is to remind each other to love our husbands by valuing and honoring even the froward ones!
Probably the biggest frustration such women might feel is that their children may not understand what they are dealing with. Why she becomes tired or blue or even temperamental is something they may not be able to explain to anyone–nor may they control those moods every time.
I would say all of us ought to teach “thankfulness” to our children–the fine art of watching for good deeds others do for them. They can be thankful easily enough when they receive things they see with their eyes, but what about the continual service their mother gives, not only to their father, the children, the in-laws and so on? Many just take those things for granted and never think twice about how much sacrifice is involved. Literally everyone else in the family may have some quiet time to revamp and rejuvenate, but not such a mother.
“God’s direction about women’s subjection is not about the value or intelligence of the genders; it is simply about function.” This seems a particularly difficult point for so many women to grasp, yet it is so simple!
They say 3rd time is a charm. I must really be charmed today! My computer is giving trouble and the mouse keeps jumping all around, typing where I don’t intend for it to. I lost my first message because of that. Then I accidentally replied to an old comment you made and had to delete it. Now on to my next mistake? I hope not.
I agree totally with your observation. Positions do not mean one is superior or inferior to another. If only women could get that into their heads. The value our society places on being the boss is misplaced and misunderstood. If any woman had to endure what this article describes, one would believe she was of superior metal for sure. But she can be comforted by the answers to the abuse.